Oneshots! A Strange Tale Begins!
by RageGoddess
Summary: A series of oneshots revolving around Zelgadis and Amelia
1. Chapter 1

Assessment! Lament of the new Crown Prince!

In a dimly lit tavern citizens of Seyruun discus among themselves what qualities their new prince should possess, and what he was lacking.

* * *

The talk had started the day that the strange man had entered the city. Or it should have, but the truth was that the man was so very ordinary that his appearance was barely noticed at all. That was only after that announcement of his marriage to the crown princess Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun that he was even noticed in the first place.

After that it created quite the stir. Gossip flew faster then dragons upon hearing the name Lina Inverse. The citizens of the holy city loved their princess dearly but they couldn't wrap their minds around why Amelia would choose such a normal husband. After all Seyruun was not known for having 'normal' royalty, her father Crown Prince Philionel being a prime example. But to give the people of Seyruun credit they did try to give the new Prince a chance…

A small group had gathered at the Dragons Head. It was an old tavern often frequented by travelers, most of them white magic users on a pilgrimage to the great city. But it was also a favorite of Seyruun's own many a citizen would find themselves there after a long day of work.

"It's a shame really" began a tall man with broad shoulders, his travelers gear well worn from his time spent on the road. He was surrounded by an air of self importance, that was accented by a loud booming voice and a confident stance that allowed him to easily capture the attention of others. He could have been a great motivational speaker, but the effect was a tad ruined by the massive amount of thick, dark bushy hair on his upper lip; it appeared to engulf his face.

"Not that there's nothing wrong with the new guy," timidly piped in a second man who had donned the garb of a holy priest. He was a short round man cursed with a bald head, he had barly touched the drink in front of him.

"No, of course not." The first man continued

"By all means he's a decent fellow, y'know?" added a young redheaded man who was working his way towards the category of 'having to much to drink'.

"Of course, by all means. He seems like a real dependable fellow. The kind who'd be good with figuring out taxes and that sort of stuff." Added a fourth figure who looked exactly like the third, the only distinguishable difference between the two being that this man was very sober.

The others nodded in agreement.

Realizing that he was loosing the attention of his companions the tall traveler broke in with a commanding voice, "it's just that the other guy, er… what was his name?"

There was an awkward pause. The present company realized the problem in singing the praises of a man who'd name they couldn't even remember; it was quite embarrassing. Eventually the second (and more sober) twin broke the silence, "It started with something weird" he commented hesitantly as if he wasn't sure what he had said was true or not.

"An X?" piped forth his brother, who by this point was more draped across the table than sitting at it.

"No I'm sure it was a 'Z'" supplied a helpful bar maid as she collected empty mugs from in front of the more intoxicated of the twins and replaced them with full glasses.

"Zem…Zea… Zel.." the priestly man mused.

"That's it!" thundered the first man, who had risen to his feet and slammed his fist down on the solid wood table the impact creating a loud thud the resonated through out the bar. "His name was Zelgadis I'm sure of it!" he spoke, voice full of pride at his accomplishment. The sudden outburst gathered the attention of the entire tavern. The place was silent as all of its occupants stared at the loud man with disapproving gazes.

Ignoring the tense atmosphere the intoxicated twin contemplated, "Just… well he was just more suited for the job, y'know?"

"My point exactly!," exclaimed the dark haired man with great enthusiasm, grateful that it was not him that had to be the one to break the judging silence. "That boy could take a hit!" his mood seemed to be contagious and the others began to get swept up in his excitement.

"He really stood out," one would comment.

Another would nod his head quickly up and down and begin "Did you see that one time when a bandit tried to shoot him at close range-"

"-The bullet just bounced right off of him, and he never even batted an eye!" yet a different man would finish.

"He had a kind of flair." Offered a young man who had turned to join the conversation from the table beside them.

'"s 'ard not to when you're blue, y'know?" commented a voice coming from the floor.

"Now there was a guy that looked like he could run a kingdom. A real no nonsense kind of guy."

"S' was all wire and stone like, y'know?"

"He could really dish it out too" shouted a man from across the room.

"With out causing property damage," piped a cheery middle age barmaid. The entire tavern nodded in agreement, this was a definite bonus in their books. The city was still recovering from the last time one of Amelia's friends visited for the weekend.

A few did try to defend the honour of the new prince, "But the new guy's not so bad" put in an elderly man seated at the bar.

A bookish young man sitting next to him agreed, commenting about how it would be nice to finally have someone on the thrown who would be able to sort out the city's finances without the hassle of holding a massive conference every other week. As an accountants apprentice he was getting sick of having to learn a new set of paperwork and procedures every month

But those few aside, the rest of the taverns patrons were deeply engrossed in telling stories of the heroic and impressive achievements of the great and noble hero of justice; Zelgadis Greywords.

In face they were so engrossed that hey never even noticed the fuming figure silently sipping tea at the table next to them.

* * *

By the time the tavern closed for the night the figure had decided that he was good and ready to go home and sulk for a few good days, he was good at sulking. After all in his opinion he was good for much more than just taxes.

He arrived back at the castle in a terrible mood, and so in order to avoid having to deal with the cheerful foot men he slunk in through one of that rarely used staff doors then padded quietly along a series of out of the way passages to get into his room. He silently changed into his night clothes trying not to wake the dark haired figure apparently already asleep in their bed.

His efforts were to no avail, as soon as he put some of his weight onto the large bed she began to stir. She waited until he was settled in before she began to ask him about his day. "So," she murmured with sleep in her voice, "did you have fun?" He just groaned and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "I don't want to talk about it." Amelia was well aware of her husbands so called 'moods.' She was also aware of how best to get him to open up about it. She wrapped one of her arms around his torso and rested her head in the crook of his neck. She could feel him relax and with only a little reluctance in his voice he recounted the events of the evening. After he finished telling the story he had been expecting crooning sympathy from his beloved wife. Instead he felt her warm figure shudder, he looked down at her face and saw her trying to stifle a giggle.

"It's not funny," he muttered sourly.

She gave him a reassuring squeeze and a peck on the cheek, "aww Zel-bunny I think it's kinda cute."

None the less, first thing the next day he headed out into town to order some new armor. Something that had lots of spikes, and a big flowing cape, and perhaps a fancy broad sword. He'd show them how to run a kingdom.

* * *

Prologue:

In the end Zelgadis as normal as he was, was able to become a fine king. He was not only able to revolutionize the tax system (with only three small conferences over a four year period and only one major system overhaul), he was able to lower crime rates and increase property values by fifty percent. Not to mention he was able to take out an entire encampment of bandits single handedly after loosing his broad sword in battle. He managed to turn the tides using two magically enhanced shot guns that he had created in his free time, along with strategies from a book of tactics he found propping up one of the back legs of the royal throne.


	2. BugBites!

Bugbites!

Is it a new kind of dance?

* * *

They had been wading through the bag for a good day and a half this point. According to their original plan they should have passed through it on the first day but due to an error in some calculations regarding direction and distance they were still stuck wading though the deep, thick muck. Over all it was a miserable experience, the water was nearly solid with algae and dirt, it stank, it was damp, and to top it off there had been no where dry to eat or sleep. But that was all bearable after all they were adventures, dealing with a little muck was practically part of the job description. But the bugs were not.

Dawn was just breaking, the beauty of the morning sun reflecting off the dew made the group rethink their opinion of the bog. Something that pretty couldn't be all that bad, right? Especially after how the group had been lucky the previous night. They had found an old tree, partially dead, but with thick branches that they could sleep on as long as they didn't roll around too much. They were grateful for the rest, as they hadn't been so lucky the night before. After a couple hours of putting off sleep in order to find dryer ground, or even slightly higher ground had filed miserably they gave up and made camp in the bog. But even for the most seasoned adventurer it was rather difficult to get any sleep when your pillow reeks like stinking bog and with water seeping into your sleeping bag. After that evening (and a number of very similar evenings before it) Lina and co. were very grateful for that tree, but one night of decent rest was not able to make up for a weeks worth of bad rest. And so when they set out on foot again Amelia, Gourry, Lina and Zelgadis couldn't help but be a little grumpy.

For the first time in a long while Lina was not at the heady of their party, leading them boldly and brashly into some sort of danger. Instead it had been unanimously decided that Zelgadis would take the lead for this part of their journey. His chimera body meant that unlike the others he did not require as much rest so he was able to keep up a brisker pace, leading the others single file he would flatten down any plants or chop down any branches in their way in order to make the trip easier for his friends. After him came Gourry who with his long legs was the next efficient at flattening the brush around them, then Amelia, with Lina taking the rear (this, she would like to clarify was not because she was the shortest. Oh no, but because Amelia would obviously be useless as a rear guard, and you never knew what kind of stupid or dastardly creatures would be lurking around a swamp like this one).

It made travelling faster, but it did make it quite a bit lonelier. With Lina and Gourry walking apart there was no bickering or light chatter to pass the time, and with Amelia near the end of their little parade there was no one really to talk to. Gourry was a nice guy, but Zelgadis had to admit he wasn't necessarily the best conversationalist to ever live.

They had set out early that morning, and it wasn't too long after that out of the corner of is eye he could see the others making weird, erratic flailing movements with their arms. At first it was just a small wave of a hand, then a fast wiping motion at the air in front of their face, eventually it got to the point where they were making strange flapping gestures with their arms, and they began to duck and weave around.

He figured it was just sort of passing phase, a momentary lapse of sanity, maybe just something in the air, or possibly a new sort of dance craze and that the strange behavior would pass soon.

It was nearly an hour and they had added a smack to their own skin every now and then to the strange dance that they were performing. Zelgadis clenched his fists and ground his teeth together, if his friends wanted to leave him out of whatever they were doing then fine. He could ignore them just as they could him.

But ignoring them grew harder and harder, and his mind began to be plagued with doubts. What if they weren't just ignoring him, perhaps they were mocking him behind his back. No, he told himself they were his friends they wouldn't do that him. Yes, said a little nagging voice in the back of his head, but-

The little voice was interrupted when Gourry attempted to dodge and swat at the same time, as a result of his awkward jerking he lost his balance knocking into his stone friend.

With a splash Zelgadis found himself on his knees, waist deep in the murky water. Gourry had managed to save himself from the swamp by grabbing onto the chimera's shoulders. "Oh gee, sorry Zelgadis are you alright?"

Zelgaid was not listening to his old friend's apology instead all he could think about how he was tired, he was hungry, he was irritated, and to top it all off he thanks to Gourry was now wet from the waist down. He had had enough, he wanted answers and he wanted them now, twisting around on the spot he demanded "what the hell is going on?"

His friends all looked up at him in confusion at the fury panted on his normally clam face. "What the hell is going on? What do you mean what the hell is going on!" Lina began to shriek incoherently all while scratching viciously at her skin.

Amelia just sighed at the fiery red-head's display of rage "It's the bugs Mr. Zelgadis."

Bugs? He hadn't even noticed

'Yeah,' Gourry cut in, "They're especially thick here for some reason."

Now that he took the time to look closely he could see the tiny black pests swarming around his friends, 'Probably the bog' Zelgadis mused 'it would make for good breeding grounds with all the standing water."

"Arrg IhatethemIhatethemIhatethem!" Lina continued shrieking, swatting at the air with as much energy as she could manage until she was out of breath panting.

"Why that is very unjust of you to say, they're just trying to live," Amelia frowned at her companion, trying her best to ignore the tiny creatures attaching themselves to her arms, neck and face.

"Well isn't it unjust of you to smack them," Line gave a wicked grin "Don't think I didn't see you smite a bug or two."

Amelia looked away blushing in shame , and mumbled something under her breath that sounded an awful lot like the beginning of a lecture on the true meaning of justice. He watched her as she scratched at the increasing number of ugly red welts appearing on her fair skin. He looked at his own hands; the golem part of his body protected them from the bugs craving for blood.

After quick deliberation he made up his mind, in one fluid motion he pulled off his shirt and passed it to the princess.

"Wha-whats this for?" she asked, her face again reddening, this time in a blush.

"The bugs" he shrugged, " It has long sleeves and I hardly need it."

She hastily threw it on over her own worn traveling clothes, surprised at the extreme act of kindness that he showed.

As she straightened the too large shirt, he began took his cowl and wrapped it gently around her face, then with a soft tug he pulled the hood down so only her eyes were visible.

"There," he nodded with satisfaction, "that should be much better."

Even Zelgadis couldn't help but smile at the happiness that Amelia seemed to be radiating at that moment.

"AwwLina look, isn't that sweet?" Gourry gestured to the bashful pair as he followed Lina as she slowly tried to hack a path through the tall hardy plants growing in the muck.

"Yeah real sweet," she to turned to face her blond companion wearing a murderous expression,before pulling her leg back and delivering a swift and vicious kick to his shins, "Geeze Gourry why can't you do something like that for me huh? Some bodyguard you are!"

* * *

A/N: I think in my mind this came out a little more romantic then it does on paper, but I hope some of you are able to enjoy it anyway. Oh and if anyone has a potential title for a chapter or an idea that they would like to see used please let me know. Coming up with 26 of these seems more daunting than I originally thought.


End file.
